An Interview with a Hollywood Star

Being the Editor and chief of this publication it has been my desire from day one to land an interview with a model citizen that truly represents all that is great about Hairjail. after months of trying I had a chance to sit down with the now "infamous" Joe Polito. who has been living a jet set lifestyle out in L.A county Jail, and recently found himself livin it up in the polk county jail.

Judge: hey Joe do you mind if we start the interview of with a few simple questions that you can give me a single word response.

JP: of course those are my fav. worked in high school and when i talk to the cops ( as easy as I thought these questions would be for him, he did have some trouble hence the facial expression in the above photo)

Judge: blondes or brunettes?
Jp: red heads
Judge: boxers or briefs?
Jp: briefs
Judge: beatles or stones?
Jp: you know I always like the monkees instead
Judge: ok and lastly waffles or pancakes?
Jp: leggo my eggo bitch!!!

Judge: So what brings you back to Iowa?
JP: ya know out west nobody really blinks an eye when you act like a complete asshole sociopath that needs emotional help. but back here in iowa I feel needed. I just felt like calling in a bomb threat to kfc, that is just another day at the office for me. Plus I am researching a character I am working on for a movie role that is set to shoot soon its going to be kinda like speed 3 or Die hard 11..

Judge: Right on! so what have you been up to since last time we spoke?
JP: alot actually UGGGGGHHHHH. oh I was on the red carpet struttin for the papparazzi

Judge: oh was that you I could'nt tell you had your face down. What happened there?
JP: you know mindin my own biz when I saw that Justin Bieber and he starts talking mad shit. sayin that I wear womens jeans and that I should really get a job. and I was like "YO" who the fuck do you think you're talkin to I am joeyfuckinpolito.. so I punked him told him I was bangin his little sister. so he attacked me. it was a real big misunderstanding cops got involved, stole my shoes. thats all really, next question I gotta get going!

Judge: ok no problem, so will you be goin goin back back to cali cali, anytime soon?
JP: NO, not anytime soon I gotta wait for things to calm down, but when I do I am going to make my mark on the walk of fame.

Judge: really! so they are giving you a star?
JP: No not really, I am going to fuckin piss on ashton kutcher's star. he may be from Iowa but I am from the southside. Fuck that amish motherfucker

Judge: thanks so much for your time I guess you should get back to liftin weights or watching dr.phil or whatever you guys do in here.. keep it real joe and don't forget where you came from homie.
JP: hey thats my line