An Interview with a Hollywood Star

Being the Editor and chief of this publication it has been my desire from day one to land an interview with a model citizen that truly represents all that is great about Hairjail. after months of trying I had a chance to sit down with the now "infamous" Joe Polito. who has been living a jet set lifestyle out in L.A county Jail, and recently found himself livin it up in the polk county jail.

Judge: hey Joe do you mind if we start the interview of with a few simple questions that you can give me a single word response.

JP: of course those are my fav. worked in high school and when i talk to the cops ( as easy as I thought these questions would be for him, he did have some trouble hence the facial expression in the above photo)

Judge: blondes or brunettes?
Jp: red heads
Judge: boxers or briefs?
Jp: briefs
Judge: beatles or stones?
Jp: you know I always like the monkees instead
Judge: ok and lastly waffles or pancakes?
Jp: leggo my eggo bitch!!!

Judge: So what brings you back to Iowa?
JP: ya know out west nobody really blinks an eye when you act like a complete asshole sociopath that needs emotional help. but back here in iowa I feel needed. I just felt like calling in a bomb threat to kfc, that is just another day at the office for me. Plus I am researching a character I am working on for a movie role that is set to shoot soon its going to be kinda like speed 3 or Die hard 11..

Judge: Right on! so what have you been up to since last time we spoke?
JP: alot actually UGGGGGHHHHH. oh I was on the red carpet struttin for the papparazzi

Judge: oh was that you I could'nt tell you had your face down. What happened there?
JP: you know mindin my own biz when I saw that Justin Bieber and he starts talking mad shit. sayin that I wear womens jeans and that I should really get a job. and I was like "YO" who the fuck do you think you're talkin to I am joeyfuckinpolito.. so I punked him told him I was bangin his little sister. so he attacked me. it was a real big misunderstanding cops got involved, stole my shoes. thats all really, next question I gotta get going!

Judge: ok no problem, so will you be goin goin back back to cali cali, anytime soon?
JP: NO, not anytime soon I gotta wait for things to calm down, but when I do I am going to make my mark on the walk of fame.

Judge: really! so they are giving you a star?
JP: No not really, I am going to fuckin piss on ashton kutcher's star. he may be from Iowa but I am from the southside. Fuck that amish motherfucker

Judge: thanks so much for your time I guess you should get back to liftin weights or watching dr.phil or whatever you guys do in here.. keep it real joe and don't forget where you came from homie.
JP: hey thats my line

Because I got High!!

this guy must of saw STS9

Burt look alike

I have a conspiracy theory that there is a cult of some sort breeding Robbie Webb look alikes. here lies proof also there is a kid in denver that I saw one time. but these two examples are all the proof I have so far but further research might prove otherwise.

(White) Gangsta's Paradise

Hey kid 1995 called and said that Coolio would like his hair back!!

I'm the kinda G the little homies wanna be like
On my knees in the night
Sayin prayers in the street light...

I am guessing that this kid is one of the homies that aspires to be a "G".. but the only prayer he should be saying is god, please don't let that big black man I am sharing a jail cell with have his way with my sweet little white ass!!

Robbin' of Vidal Sassoon’s Hairspray Division

I am dedicating two back to back entries to this dude to emphasize how important it is to reinvent your style when getting booked multiple times. I mean why do the same thing twice, he must find inspiration from johnny depp, brad pitt kinda guys always making people stay interested.. Well my friend you have succeded we are enthralled and will continue to watch you blossom as a forerunner in the fashion underbelly which is "HAIRJAIL"!!

Robbin' of "LOCKSLEY"

I was not able to post a pic of newest inmate on HairJail. Better yet I would like to leave you in suspense. click on the Title of the submission "Robbin of Locksley" and you will have the pleasure of meeting the "O.G" of HairJail, thanks to this GENTALman (using this term literally)the concept of this website was born.. although you will notice the "long flowing locks" that might not be so recognizable, long gone are the day's of "cementhead".. but this bold choice of hairstyle leaves me to wonder if he should be more worried about getting split ends while doing a stint in the polkie. But either way I applaud our current inmate for making a timely entrance into our 2nd edition of HairJail because without him I don't know what we would do with ourselves. Enjoy

Barbershop Mishap

If only Corn Rows did not take so damn long!! You should'a left the scene of the crime and hid out for awhile instead this fella went to the local barbershop.

A Statement From HAIR JAIL

Greeting's and Salutations,
This here is "THE JUDGE" I would like to welcome everyone to Hair Jail. You may be asking yourself "what the f*%# is HAIR JAIL"? Well my friend if you are like me and are blessed to live in a city that gives you access to a updated by the minute resource documenting the current inmate listing in the local slammer, which happens to be full of "stand up dudes" (and gals) that on occasion get picked up by the law dressed in their Sunday Best looking sharp or better yet straight look like shit. If you find yourself completely intrigued by who is spending the night in the drunk tank this is definetly a place where you will be wasting plenty of Webtime. (its better than hard time). So enjoy kids and remember, next time you are out and about and find yourself getting picked up for O.W.I or a Probie violation/Domestic Dispute where you and your baby momma are headed to jail, remember we at hair jail are watching and will be critical of your overall appearance..

Thank you, Enjoy

THE JUDGE